Before I had kids, I wanted to have that uber "fit" body you'd see on magazine covers. "Toned legs in 5 easy steps" -- I was there doing the leg raises and bicycle kicks in the air. So, when Audrick was born, I felt the need to kick my butt into gear. Thank goodness Tyler found CrossFit, which was what I thought would be my miracle "get skinny post-baby" pill.
It didn't take long to get skinny -- in fact, I was pre-baby weight pretty quick. I also noticed my focus changing. Instead of wanting to be like the magazine models, I wanted to be strong. After all, "strong IS the new skinny," right? I stopped caring about "cheat" meals and just vowed to stay in the gym. My physique was a bi-product of my dedication to strength.
Fast forward 3 years, I was post-baby again -- this time with Avenley. And with this lifestyle shift came a backsliding to my old way of thinking. I heard myself say, "I don't care if I'm strong, I just want to be skinny again." What? Where did my counterculture view of health-over-appearance go? Why did I care what I looked like more than how much I could lift?
Because, I simply exchanged one uber-focus for another. I exchanged wanting to be skinny for wanting to be strong, which held the same obsession about my body. I was still zeroed in on making it a certain "acceptable" way. Instead of a perky backside (which is considered an acceptable hyperfocus in mainstream society), it was a body-weight back squat (which is desired by the counterculture of CrossFit). Instead of toned arms, it was PRing my push press. Instead of flat abs, it was a tight, gymnastics core.
Throughout my CrossFit journey, I'm learning life is more than comparing Fran times and snatch PRs. It's more than having the most consecutive muscle-ups or gaining 15 pounds of muscle. It's about striking a balance between health-driven and body-obsessed, priority and hyperfocus, doing it for yourself and doing it for others. It's about hushing the expectations of the populous -- in the box or otherwise.
--Amy Sullivan
Strength: Bench press, ring dipsWOD: Run, T2b, Wall Balls