3/24 “Thursday” – Gains: Managing your fear of food!


3/24 “Thursday” – Gains: Managing your fear of food!


RDL, Bench Press, Hanging Straight-leg Raise(P: Straight-leg T2B strict)

Wall Walks, Row, DB Power Snatch

Gains: Managing the fear of food

By Amy Sullivan

I stared at my macro calculator. About 2600 calories and 400g of carbs?! Was that right? As my husband had me on a mass-building regime which included 5×10 back squats and only one day of cardio, the increase of activity meant an increase in eating…food…calories…fat…

“You won’t grow if you don’t eat,” he’d say.

And while I never considered myself to have an eating disorder, the socially acceptable (but highly debatable) calories-in, calories-out way of thinking had me paralyzed in the kitchen. I had an unhealthy relationship with food. I would plate out my macros and cringe — imagining my body after 2 months of eating this way — thick thighs, a heavy cellulite butt, a muffin top and muffin middle.

The more I ate, the more I actually saw the weight come on. I felt pudgy. My inches increased where I didn’t want them to. I felt fat and I blamed the fat I was eating. I weighed myself after 6 weeks and I gained 5 pounds.

“Five pounds of fat,” I’d think.

Other women in the gym confirmed I wasn’t alone.
“I’m afraid to eat,” I’d say.
“I’m afraid to get fat.”
“I’m afraid of food.”
They would nod in agreement.

It wasn’t until I spoke with a friend of mine currently training for a physique competition, that I began to understand. She gave me three very important words of wisdom, which seemed to calm the food battle inside.

“Trust the process.”

Trust — believe in.
The process — what I am doing to reach my goal.

Was it that easy?

I’d like to say I followed her advice and now I’m magically in love with eating 4 cups of oatmeal a day.
I’d like to say I look forward to avocado and olive oil and peanut butter.
I’d like to say I can’t wait to cook up the 6 oz of marbled red meat for dinner.

I do still have the urge to skip a snack or fat or carb serving. I eat a piece of fruit and imagine its sugar adhering to my cellulite.

But I DO remember, in those moments, not to trust how I feel about food but what I know. This food is a means to an end — my end, my goal.

What’s more, the opposite of fear is love. And in learning to truly love my body and myself, I can learn to love food, too.


Member News:

***Attendance update: You can now cancel and rsvp for class in Zen Planner up until class starts, but the earlier the better!

***Join us after the CrossFit Games 16.5 WOD with food, friends & fun!

We will be supplying BBQ pork sandwiches, beer/drinks, and other eats! You bring a dish to pass — an app, dessert, main or supplement to. This can be healthy or unhealthy.

Showcase your cooking talent or how awesome you are at grocery shopping.

Coach Colin will give us a tutorial on how to play the new, hot game, Spikeball! We have boards for sandbag toss (someone have bags?) and the slackline set up! Or bring another yard/tailgate game!